What in the hell is wrong with everybody?
The whole world is going to hell in a handbasket. I don't know who makes decisions any more. Like the decision that fast-food breakfast has to be some greasy egg sandwich. What the fuck? Give me a bagel and some cream cheese, or a croissant, or some hotcakes and sausage, not a friggin' Egg McMuffin or Croissanwich. Normal breakfast eaters don't eat in at least the 8 hours before breakfast, and it's almost like The Man wants us to be puking by 11am.
I have to write a paper. Not for a class or for a grade, but only because I'm in grad school and we're supposed to be good little grad students and do things that are asked of us because we want to be here. There is a 5-page maximum, and I ask the admin in charge if the paper needs to be single or double spaced. Her response? It doesn't matter. So for some reason, you have a page maximum, but you don't care about the spacing. The difference between single and double spacing is pretty fucking significant. I can write a 2 1/2 page paper and double space it out to reach the 5-page maximum. It's not a minimum, but when someone requests a maximum length, they look down on you for not reaching it. "You could have used the remaining inch of paper to talk about blah blah blah..."
Where was I? I don't even know any more. Oh yeah, why stop at double spacing? Why not triple space it? Why am I even doing this shit? I'm presenting the beginning of my thesis twice in the next week at a professional conference to colleagues and other profs, and someone wants me to write a paper for no fucking reason, with no solid requirements except it can't be more than 5 pages long. I'm tempted to write either one word a page, or if I had the time and actually cared, cram as much shit as humanly possible into the 5 pages. Triple spacing seems like the way to go.
You ever notice that redheads go after guys with dark complexions? Think about it, Lindsay Lohan, back when she was a redhead and not disgustingly anorexic-looking, was dating Fez from That 70's Show. And...well that's the only example I can think of. The point is, that redheads are the hottest women on the planet, and that I need to get dark so I can snag one for myself.
Tropical Storm Beta? What the hell? How would it feel that have your town destroyed by Hurricane Beta? Decimated by a Greek letter. There can't be any worse punishment besides having your car towed with you in it. Which reminds me, if you ever run out of gas and you want a free ride somewhere, park in a tow zone and hide, and you'll get a free ride, at least to a tow lot. Then you can turn your car on and drive off. But wait, you're out of gas, so THERE WAS NO POINT TO THAT AT ALL.
Gas prices are ridiculous. My neighbor put sugar in his own gas tank so that he can ruin someone else's car when they siphon off of him. Talk about a high level of spite.
I still have yet to receive any hatemail from you assholes. That's right, you are all assholes. Every single one of you. Except the redhead. How can somebody like Maddox get 346314 emails a day while posting articles about once a year? Especially when I call out specific people like I did in the Dating Part I and II articles. I figured somebody would have forwarded my article to someone who inspired the idea, and have a field day, but all you morons do is laugh and go eat pop tarts. And that's another thing, pop tarts are the dumbest breakfast food ever. Take a dry pastry, put it in a toaster so it gets even drier, eat it and almost die of thirst before you can reach your orange juice or milk or beer or whatever the hell you drink for breakfast. One time I was so sleep deprived that I meant to have a ginger ale for breakfast and I grabbed a pale ale instead. I didn't stay awake for very long that day. I don't get the people that think it's a great idea to drink before noon. I'm all for drinking, but damn all it does is make me take a nap around 4pm on a Saturday afternoon and wake up on Monday thinking "FUCK there went the weekend." Anyway, in case you can't tell, breakfast is my least favorite meal of the day. There you go, there's the moral to the story. Have a nice day.
Back to how I have absolutely no train of thought due to spending way too much time working on pointless papers...