The Trouble with Dating Part I - You've Got Mail...From a Dumbass.
I will readily confess that I go online to look for women who are worthy of dating. Before you bash me for doing that, I ask you to go read Part II about the general worthlessness of women that are out on the bar scene. And if that doesn't convince you, and you still continue to run your mouth, then there are three possibilities: 1. You are a guy who can't get laid, so you should shut up. 2. You are a guy who scores with women not worthy of smelling my socks, so you should shut up. 3. You are a woman who has no chance of getting with me, so your frustration is understandable, but you should still shut up.
So since the bar scene is probably the worst place in the world to meet women outside of an engineering class, I turn to the online world in hopes that there is someone out there who is as great as me, but female and hot. But the online dating scene is much like the disappointment felt when aiming a gun at my foot and pulling the trigger. I know it's going to suck, but I'm suckered in anyways by the possibility of something good happening, like finding a box of beef jerky at my doorstep.
First off, there are countless girls, and I call them girls because grown women are not this blatantly stupid usually, who start off their descriptions with "I like to have fun." Or they have fun as a keyword. Who doesn't like to have fun? Does anybody out there ever say that having fun sucks? And how do you have fun, by smoking crack, listening to shitty music, or going to the library to rent movies? I should make a profile out there that says "Fun sucks, and if you like to have fun, you are a tool." Of course, girls (not women) are turned on by assholes so this will probably get me countless hits and result in even more wear on my delete key.
What about women who post pictures, with an "s" because they are multiples, of their pets? I'm not on this site to see one picture of you and eight pictures of your dog. If the site was called dogmatch.com, then that might be acceptable, but I'm here to see if you are worth my time to talk to, not if your dog should hook up with my dog. It also makes me think that you care about your pet too much, over career ambitions or expanding your intellectual horizons, or even finding a guy who isn't a moron.
Some sites have options for body types to explain the size/shape of your body. But it seems that every woman out there picks a size or two too small in order to get more attention. It's annoying. If you are a hippo, then select large or BBW. "A Few Extra Pounds" means you have a slight pudge and a little too much junk in the trunk, not a stomach bigger than my head and an ass like a Cadillac. If you are average, then select average. The only girls that should ever pick slender or slim are the ones that look like they would break in half if you sneezed on them, and that's just ugly anyways. There's nothing wrong with being yourself and admitting you're not perfect, but there's everything wrong in misrepresenting yourself just to snag a guy.
Finally, the worst ones of all are the attention whores. Let me explain: There's one site that I will not name, where you search for women, and if they seem interesting, you answer the question "Do you want to meet this person?" by clicking yes. The next time she logs on, your profile will come up, asking her the same question. If she clicks yes, then it's a double-match and you can start writing back and forth. Hey, it's a good way to screen people, and I'm all for it. But what I don't get is when someone consciously decides to click yes, I send her a brief email introducing myself, and she does not respond and/or deletes me from her list of double-matches.
Look, if you don't want to meet me then why in the hell did you decide to click yes? You indicated that you wanted to meet me, not sleep with me or even go on a date with me. You made the decision that you would like further contact, even if it's only through email. So why make that judgment call if you know that you never want to have any communication with me? Do you get off on the fact that you have 200 guys who want to meet you, and you just like the attention? I keep my number of matches small because I only go for top-notch women, but if you have that many people on your list and no intention on giving any of them the time of day, that makes you an attention whore. Go buy a fucking mirror and get over yourself.
Back to find if the other dating article will get you laid.