Hi, join my generic network!

 Nothing annoys me more than getting an email from someone that I know, with "Hey :)" or some variant of that in the subject line. I'm thinking that one of my loyal fans wants to express their adoration for me, but instead it turns out to be a form letter invite for one of those generic social networks.

Now, nevermind the fact that I've taken the time to construct nonz.net and that I have succumbed to joining LiveJournal, MySpace, and FaceBook. Having my own fucking website as well as being part of three annoying internet groups is not enough as random friends want me to join additional networks for some strange reason.

This is what the typical annoying Join! Message looks like:

Hey Nonzarelli!

Come join my generic social network!

I now have over 17498 friends in my network! You can meet all of them, plus more than 50 million other generic network members! Once you join, you will immediately be connected to all the people in my circle of friends.

This is an online service that lets you meet new people, view photos, browse profiles, and chat with your friends.

I'll see you inside,

Random annoying friend

This is what my response is, which I send directly to the friend that initiated the request:

Hey Random Annoying Friend!

I don't want to join your generic social network. I am already a part of LJ, MySpace, and FaceBook, and I also have a personal website at nonz.net. Last I checked, nonz.net is one of the shortest URL's you could enter to find out more about me, The Great Nonz. So instead of me joining your generic network that nobody has ever heard of yet it has 50 million people (bullshit), why don't you just pay attention to one of the networks I'm already in and stop wasting my time by asking someone to spam me?

Nonz.net does not let you meet new people, view photos, plant flowers, or listen to Dave Matthews Band, but it does kick you right in the teeth with a much-needed dose or reality.

So screw you and your network. I don't want to meet 50 million people or your alleged 20000 friends, because people inherently suck. Oh, and if you have more than 100 friends in any network, you are officially an attention whore, and I would rather not associate with you. Have a nice day!

The Nonz

Back to...fuck that, go to your email and start regulatin' on those who send you those bullshit invites.